Nannie’s first Thanksgiving in Heaven
Dear my guardian angel, Nannie.
Today is your first Thanksgiving in Heaven. Last year, I was watching you on this day while you were resting in bed. I am so happy I was there with you all night.
My whole world is incomplete without you. My heart is forever shattered. I don’t know how to live without you since you were and always will be the greatest grandmother any girl could ever have.
I know you will always be my biggest supporter and fan even in heaven. I loved when you told me I was your biggest fan because I keep on going every day with my Chronic illness’s. I also love how you told me I was your fan because you loved when I kept writing and worked so hard to advocate for young adults who have cancer.
I know you want me to write my book, but it might not be possible which is totally heartbreaking. You inspired me to keep writing and fighting even when I wanted to give up so many times. It’s not that easy for me to give up. Ever since you left this physical world, writing has been on hold until today. I don’t know if I am ready yet to come back just yet even if I have a lot to say.
This world will never be the same that you’re not physically in it anymore. What a true honor and privilege it is to have so much of your strength and to simply be your one of your favorite granddaughter’s. No, I will never stop saying it because it makes me smile. I know you loved all three of us equally, it just made me feel better and it stuck for 15 years. The love that you had for my nieces and nephews makes me want to cry. The sparkle in your eyes when you saw Ava, JJ, Briella and Joseph will always be priceless to me. I know you loved them so very much. They love you so much.
We all love you and miss you terribly, especially my babies. We talk about you every single day. We will honor you all the days of our lives. You are so loved and missed beyond belief. A brutal gut-wrenching pain that’s never going to go away until I see you again, one day.
I’ll always honor, and cherish every single memory that we had shared together.
You will always be part of me even if most of my heart is completely gone.
I wanted to thank you so much for my Thanksgiving miracle. I received the call Tuesday afternoon. The rheumatologist looked over most of my records. We have a lot to discuss and go over. It is still critical I find a neuromuscular Doctor since she is expensive out of pocket. But, I DID IT! I almost gave up. I hit rock bottom call after call, cry after cry, curses and screaming.
I fought for 5 long months calling over 60 plus Doctors. You already knew this is a full time job being chronically ill. I even tried to hire a personal secretary because the 9-5 gig was killing me and still does. Your the only person that understood this nonsense.
I’m so lucky Mom called every Doctor for you, seriously. i know you would have thrown that phone multiple times or pulled it out of the wall.
I owe you a big thank you, because the night prior, I looked up to the sky and said “ Please give me a win, as the stars were flickering.”
Thank you for being the most supportive, loving grandmother I’ve ever had. You never gave up on me even when I wanted to give up on myself. You told me to keep going. I still hear that in my head from time to time. You loved me on my good days, and my tough days, You never yelled at me if I couldn’t walk, move, or visit even if you lived a couple of houses away. I’m super grateful for all our daily phone conversations and priceless memories and photographs that I will cherish all the days of my life.
I just know in my heart that I’ll see you again. For now, I’ll see you in the stars, just like you told me in the hospital: “Look up, and I’ll always be there twinkling for you.” I finally believed it since Tuesday night. Thank You for giving me hope again.
Every single waking hour has been empty without you. Thanksgiving will feel so empty without you today. I’m so grateful that you were in my life for 38 amazing years.
Happy First Thanksgiving in Heaven my guardian angel. Please tell Papa I love him and I miss him so much.
You keep resting pain free.
PS: Dory misses her Nana too. I talk about you every day to her and of course she sighs. Dory stopped eating watermelon since you left this physical world. She loved when you gave her seedless watermelon. I have tried countless of times, she is not ready, yet.
I love you, I miss you…
I’ll see you later then….
🤟🏻 D & Dory